Admin: Created page with "Dreary Doggerel =From "The Lure of the Limerick"= ==Part I== {{Limerick |Tis a favorite project of mine |A new value of pi to assign. |I would fix it at 3 |For it's sim..."

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Created page with "Dreary Doggerel =From "The Lure of the Limerick"= ==Part I== {{Limerick |Tis a favorite project of mine |A new value of pi to assign. |I would fix it at 3 |For it's sim..."

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[[Dreary Doggerel]]

=From "The Lure of the Limerick"=

==Part I==

{{Limerick
|Tis a favorite project of mine
|A new value of pi to assign.
|I would fix it at 3
|For it's simpler, you see,
|Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9
}}

-----

{{Limerick
|A fencing instructor named Fisk
|In duels was terribly brisk.
|So fast was his action
|The Fitzgerald contraction
|Foreshortened his foil to a disk.
}}

-----

{{Limerick
|The limerick packs laughs anatomical
|Into space that is quite economical
|But the good ones I've seen
|So seldom are clean
|And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
}}

==Part II==

{{Limerick
|The limerick, peculiar to English,
|Is a verse form that's hard to extinguish.
|Once Congress in session
|Decreed its suppression
|But people got around it by writing the last line without any rhyme or meter.
}}

-----

{{Limerick
|There was a fat lady from Eye
|Who felt she was likely to die;
|But for fear that once dead,
|She would not be well-fed,
|She gulped down a pig, a cow, a sheep, two goats, twelve buns, a seven-layer cake, four cups of coffee, and a green apple pie.
}}

-----

{{Limerick
|There was an old man of Nantucket
|Who kept all his cash in a bucket;
|But his daughter, named Nan,
|Ran away with a man,
|And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
}}

{{Limerick
|Pa followed the pair to Pawtucket
|(The man and the girl with the bucket)
|And he said to the man,
|"You're welcome to Nan,"
|But as for the bucket, Pawtucket.
}}

{{Limerick
|Then the pair followed Pa to Manhasset
|Where he still held the cash as an asset;
|And Nan and the man
|Stole the money and ran,
|And as for the bucket, Manhasset.
}}

-------

{{Limerick
|There was a young fellow named Hall
|Who fell in the spring in the fall.
|'Twould have been a bad thing
|Had he died in the spring,
|But he didn't - he died in the fall.
}}

==Part III==

{{Limerick
|There was a young farmer of Limerick.
|Who started one day to trim a rick
|The fates gave a frown,
|The rick tumbled down,
|And killed him - I don't know a grimmer trick.
}}

==Part IV==

Learics

{{Limerick
|There was an Old Man with a beard,
|Who said, "It is just as I feared -
|Two Owls and a Hen,
|Four Larks and a Wren,
|Have all built their nests in my beard!"
}}

------

{{Limerick
|There was an Old Man who supposed
|That the street door was partially closed;
|But some very large rats
|Ate his coat and his hats,
|While that futile old gentleman dozed.
}}

------

{{Limerick
|There was a fat lady of Clyde
|Whose shoelaces once came untied;
|She feared that to bed
|Would display her rear end
|So she cried and she cried and she cried.
}}

------

{{Limerick
|There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!
|I perceive a young bird in this bush!"
|When they said, "Is it small?"
|He replied, "Not at all!
|It is four times as big as the bush!"
}}

==Part V==

{{Limerick
|Said a man to his spouse in East Sydenham,
|"My best trousers! Now where have you hydenham?
|It is perfectly true
|They were not very new
|But I foolishly left half a quidenham."
}}

------

{{Limerick
|A poodle was charged by the law
|With resembling Hall Caine. With his paw
|Pressed close to his forehead,
|He sobbed, "Yes, it's horrid,
|But at least I'm not George Bernard Shaw!"
}}

-------

{{Limerick
|There was a young man of Moose Jaw
|Who wanted to meet Bernard Shaw
|When they questioned him, "Why?"
|He made no reply,
|But sharpened an axe and a saw.
}}

==Part VI==

{{Limerick
|There was a young lady of Ryde,
|Whose locks were consid'rably dyed.
|The hue of her hair
|Made everyone stare...
|"She's piebald, she'll die bald!" they cried.
}}

-----

{{Limerick
|If it's management men you pursue
|Don't hunt every beast in the zoo -
|Just look for the signs
|That say "Tigers and Lions."
|It isn't how many... it's who.
}}

-----

{{Limerick
|My neighbor, the dirty Miss Drews,
|Will stand on her doorstep and muse,
|And tie up her tresses
|While the dog makes its messes,
|And I am wiping my shoes.
}}

-----

{{Limerick
|There once were some learned M.D.s
|Who captured some germs of disease
|And infected a train,
|Which, without causing pain,
|Allowed hundreds to catch it with ease.
}}

-----

{{Limerick
|I'd rather have fingers than toes;
|I'd rather have ears than a nose;
|And as for my hair,
|I'm glad that it's there.
|I'll be awfully sad when it goes.
}}

-----

{{Limerick
|A canner, exceedingly canny,
|One morning remarked to his granny:
|"A canner can can
|Anything that he can
|But canner can't can a can, can he?"
}}

-------

{{Limerick
|I sat next to the Duchess at tea;
|It was just as I feared it would be:
|Her rumblings abdominal
|Were truly phenomenal,
|And everyone thought it was me!
}}

------

==Part VII==

{{Limerick
|There was a young man of Cape Horn
|Who wished he had never been born;
|And he wouldn't have been
|If his father had seen
|That the end of the rubber was torn.
}}

------

{{Limerick
|There was an old man of Dundee
|Who molested an ape in a tree:
|The result was most horrid,
|All arse and no forehead,
|Three balls and a purple goatee.
}}

-----

{{Limerick
|To his bride said the lynx-eyed detective,
|"Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
|Has your east tit the least bit
|The best of the west tit?
|Or is it a trick of perspective?"
}}

==Part VIII==

{{Limerick
|There was a young lady of Riga
|Who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
|They returned from the ride
|With the lady inside,
|And the smile on the face of the tiger.
}}

-----

{{Limerick
|There was a young plumber of Leigh
|Was plumbing a maid by the sea.
|Said the maid, "Cease your plumbing,
|I think someone's coming."
|Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."
}}

-----

{{Limerick
|There once was an old man of Lyme
|Who married three wives at a time;
|When asked, "Why a third?"
|He replied, "One's absurd!"
|And bigamy, sir, is a crime.
}}

Limericks - Revision history

Admin: Created page with "Dreary Doggerel =From "The Lure of the Limerick"= ==Part I== {{Limerick |Tis a favorite project of mine |A new value of pi to assign. |I would fix it at 3 |For it's sim..."